Milky the Marvelous Milking Cow

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1970s, cereal, do not drink, fill her, General Mills, Kenner, milk pills, Milky the Marvelous Milking Cow, non toxic, pail, powdered milk, promotional toy, pump tail, rubber udders, Toys, trough

Milky the Marvelous Milking Cow (Kenner, 1970s)

When you’re a child who longs for farm life but are stuck in the city, then Kenner had just the toy for you. Milky the cow! Milky was a promotional toy for General Mills’ breakfast cereals. You took the “milk pills” (yes they’re in quotations even on the packaging; as is the phrase “…give you ‘milk'”) and put them in the trough and pump Milky’s tail to fill her up. Once she’s full (this description is so disturbing to write), you pull on her rubber udders and release her (powdered) milk into the pail. Mmmm! Yummy fresh “milk.” Uh, Kenner also states: “The ‘Milk Pills’ are non-toxic. However, DO NOT DRINK THE PRETEND MILK YOU GET FROM MILKY!” So then why?

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Berry Berry Kix

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1990s, Berry Berry Kix, berry shaped, cereal, corn, Food, General Mills, round

Berry Berry Kix (General Mills, 1990s)

The first incarnation of Berry Berry Kix had berry pieces shaped like the berries they were naturally flavored with. Otherwise it also included round corn cereal pieces. It came into the marketplace in the 1990s, but quickly disappeared. The cereal still exists, is still made by General Mills, still has the same name and taste. The only differences are the new packaging and the cereal pieces. Berry Berry Kix is still a round-shaped corn cereal, but the berry pieces are round now. Berry Berry Kix is still readily available too.

Puffed Kashi

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cereal, Food, Kashi, low calorie, no added salt, no added sugar, Puffed Kashi, sesame, seven whole grains

Puffed Kashi cereal

Puffed Kashi cereal is described on the box as being made of “seven whole grains and sesame.” A 2003 press release further describes the cereal as “…great for everyone, especially those who are looking for a low-calorie cereal with no added sugar or salt. Many health care professionals recommend Puffed Kashi because it offers great taste and crunch without the sugar.”

While Kashi’s Puffed Grains cereal may be gone, Kashi has a wide array of other puffed and whole grains cereals.

Mr. T cereal

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A-Team, Cap'N Crunch, cereal, corn and oat, Food, Mr. T, Pee Wee's Big Adventure, Rocky III, T-shaped

Mr. T cereal (Quaker, 1984)

Mr. T was awarded his own cereal in 1984. Mr. T “debuted” in pop culture in 1982 in Rocky III. He moved to TV in 1983 on his show The A-Team until 1987. He guested on Silver Spoons (1982) and Diff’rent Strokes and Alvin and the Chipmunks (1983).

Mr. T cereal was a crispy sweet corn and oat cereal that tasted similar to Cap’N Crunch. Obviously, the cereal pieces were shaped like the letter T. The cereal was made famous in Pee Wee’s Big Adventure (1985) when Pee Wee poured the cereal over his pancakes and eggs.

Honey Smacks

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cereal, Dig'em Frog, donut, Food, Golden Crisp, Honey Smacks, Kelloggs, Smacks, sugar content, Sugar Crisp, Sugar Smacks

Honey Smacks cereal (Kellogg’s, 1953 to present)

Kellogg’s Honey Smacks has seen numerous changes since its 1953 introduction. It is still available in the U.S., but has been discontinued in European markets. Honey Smacks is a sweetened puffed wheat cereal.

In 2008 Consumer Reports compared 27 cereals and found that Honey Smacks and Post’s Golden Crisp (known as Sugar Crisp in Canada) contained the highest sugar content; more than 50%. In fact, Honey Smacks contains the same amount of sugar as a glazed donut from Dunkin Donuts.

Originally, the cereal was known (appropriately) as Sugar Smacks. It became Honey Smacks in the 1980s. In the 90s, with their Dig’em Frog mascot, the cereal was known as simply Smacks. In Germany, Spain, Belgium, the Netherlands and France, Honey Smacks was known as Smacks. In the U.S. Honey was re-introduced back into the name. In the UK the cereal was called Sugar Puffs. In Norway and Finland consumers can purchase Honni Korn Smacks. In Australia the cereal has been called Honey Smacks since the 1970s. Unfortunately, Australian, Italian and Mexican consumers can no longer purchase Honey Smacks.

Over the years, Honey Smacks has had various mascots. From its introduction until 1956, various clowns served as the mascots. In 1957 Smaxey, a sailor-suit wearing seal was mascot. In 1961 Hanna Barbera character, Quick Draw McGraw took over. In 1965 The Smackin Bandit, a half-mule, half-kangaroo character that kissed everything was featured on the boxes and in ads. In 1966, the Smackin Brothers took over duties. The brothers wore boxing shorts and gloves. In ads, the brothers would smack each other. On the boxes, however, Star Trek characters were featured. In the early 1970s an Indian Chief appeared briefly. In 1972 Dig’em Frog took over. He held the title of mascot the longest and remains the most popular mascot. In 1982 a heart-shaped dog, Love Smacks took over the job. He loved giving hugs to children. With the introduction of the Honey name in 1986, Wally the Bear scored the job. Unfortunately for Wally, Dig’em came back in 1987 (by popular demand). Dig’em has remained Honey Smacks’ mascot since.

PowerPuff Girls cereal and Pop-Tarts

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2000s, cereal, fizz, Food, Kelloggs, Pop Tarts, Powberry, Power Puff Girls

PowerPuff Girls cereal and Pop-Tarts (Kellogg’s, 2000s)

In the 2000s, Kellogg’s fell in love with the PowerPuff Girls. In 2000, they introduced a limited edition cereal devoted to them. The cereal had
crispy rice pieces “with power-packed clusters that fizz in your mouth.” They did fizz indeed.

In 2001, they produced a limited edition of PowerPuff Girls Pop-Tarts with “Powberry” filling. The Pop-Tarts had a lavender icing and was topped with PowerPuff Girl sprinkles.

Waffle Crisp cereal

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breakfast, cereal, cinnamon, corn, Food, grandma, maple syrup, Post, waffle, Waffle Boy, Waffle Crisp

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Waffle Crisp (Post, 1996)

Waffle Crisp is a breakfast cereal that has corn pieces shaped to look like maple-syrup covered waffles dusted with cinnamon. The early mascots for the cereal were a group of grannies that lovingly “made” the cereal.

Later, Waffle Boy, a red-sneakered cartoon waffle had to outsmart Professor Burnt Toast to ensure the safety of Waffle Crisp.

Happily, the cereal is still around! (In 2013, Waffle Crisp was re-booted with smaller “waffle” pieces.) If you head to the Waffle Crisp website at http://www.postfoods.com, there’s a store locator that can direct you to the nearest store that sells the cereal.

French Toast Crunch

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cereal, Food, french toast, French Toast Crunch

French Toast Crunch (General Mills, 1995)

This breakfast cereal was artificially flavored to taste like French toast and looked like mini slices of toast. In 2006, General Mills discontinued the cereal.

Don’t worry if you’re missing it, for American citizens only need to cross the Canadian border. French Toast Crunch is still widely produced and marketed in Canada (in Quebec it’s known as “croque pain dore”). For international citizens, you can order it from online retailers. The cereal is no longer shaped to look like toast, though it retains the taste of French toast.

UPDATE: General Mills just announced that French Toast Crunch will be returning to store shelves. It will be in limited release until January 2015, when it will come back nationwide to the U.S. The reason they gave for the return was that the shipping for U.S. consumers to bring it into the country from Canada was quite costly. Score one for all you French Toast Crunch fans. Congratulations!

Ghostbusters cereal

Tags

cereal, Food, movie tie-in

Ghostbusters cereal (Ralston, 1985)

There were actually three incarnations of Ghostbusters cereal that Ralston introduced over the years — all strictly as product tie-ins for the movies
and cartoon series. They appear to all be the same cereal each time, just with a different name.

Ghostbusters cereal was made
up of marshmallow ghosts and fruit-flavored Os. Ralston also claimed the cereals contained four-grain goodness and was fortified with 9 essential vitamins and minerals.

E.T. Cereal

Tags

cereal, Food, Movies

E.T. Cereal (General Mills, 1984)

In 1982, a little film (that was the highest grossing film of all time — that surpassed Star Wars — for 10 years, took in $11 million in its opening weekend and topped the box office for six straight weeks!) called E.T. The Extra Terrestrial was released. In the film, E.T. liked eating peanut butter and chocolate, and Hershey was able to cash in on some product placement to score some of the eventual worldwide total of over $600 million that the film brought in.

Meanwhile, two years later, General Mills wanted some E.T. money too, so they released this peanut butter and chocolate flavored crispy, sweetened 2-grain cereal. Every cereal piece came in either an E or a T shape. The flavor was similar to Hershey’s Reese’s Puff cereal.

E.T. cereal was described as a “glowing part of a good breakfast” and featured E.T.’s iconic glowing finger.